Saturday 11 May 2013

Being an Expat, expat wife, and child of an expat parents


For so many people, moving is such a hassle. Most people do not like going outside of their comfort zone. Imagine yourself, packing, unpacking, changing phone numbers, closing your internet, power, TV, saying goodbye to friends and in some cases to family, settling down with your kids, finding schools, and so much more every three to four years. I have so many friends and neighbors who were born in the same house they are living in now with their kids. They go to the same hair dresser, drive on the same roads and streets, shop at the same grocery stores, and their kids go to the same school they once went to. One of my good friend once told me she cannot even picture herself changing her hairdresser or moving to a new house every couple of years, let alone moving to a different country. I was never one of these people. Friends of mine always teased me. Even when I was single, I was very flexible with changing houses, buying and selling my furniture, and redecorating my new house. Some of my close friends thought I was crazy. Now even though I am married with two kids, my outlook still has not changed. I am probably very lucky to have found someone who shares the same views on life as I do.

Anyways, being an expat is not for everyone because there are so many roads you take in life with unknowns. But, that is probably what makes being an expat so beautiful and challenging. You go to these places you have never been before, witness things that you would never see by just visiting, meet so many great people from different parts of the world, and make friends from thousands of miles away. You end up missing so many things you used to have, understand their real value, and develop a greater appreciation for those things.

Our 7 yrs. old daughter (and now 2 yrs. old son) have changed schools so may times and met many friends in many places. There were times I felt guilty I did not keep them in one place, but overtime I learned something. These experiences involving changing schools, environments, and friendships will help shape their character and prepare my children for anything this century has to offer. Children have this ability to learn, see, and experience so much. They develop these personalities where they are flexible, non-judgmental, and open minded with a resilient confidence.

Of course that is not to say that there are not downsides of living an expat life. Just as there are so many beautiful and exciting unknowns, there are also unknowns that deal with culture, safety, knowledge of the community, potential loneliness, and a possible lack of the basic necessities of daily life. In my opinion, the hardest one is how hard it can become to stay connected with old friends because your perceptions and expectations in life change so much from the experience. But at time same time, you become flexible, adjustable, understanding, open to ideas, more patient, and so much more. You develop these qualities that make you realize why being human is something to cherish. Surely these changes do depend on your individual personality and character, but when you put in the effort you will see the rewarding returns.

So, I personally look at our African life as a personal development. Even sitting in the garden and writing these blogs make me think about my past experiences, what I have done, and what I could have done differently.

The bottom line is that we all need to find a way to be better and be more appreciative for what we have.

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