Most Difficult Things Being an Expat Wife

Looking from outside being an expat wife seems like an easy life since most expat wifes do not work, they have helpers in the house, drive big cars, live in big houses and much more. Honestly,  I was one of these people who thought so.  But after I became an expat wife, changed my mind once for all!

So I wanted to share what my thoughts are on this subject.

1- Making New Friends: This is a no easy task. And if you moved to a place like Africa, you definitely need friends around you, because life is mostly isolated due to the culture and living conditions such as safety. To make friends, you should push yourself to become social. There are expat communities in each country, the fact is every community has its own circles and they do not tend to let you in easily. So far in Kenya, there is strong tied-knit British community. So if you are British you are one of the lucky ones! There is also S. African community, which they also blend very easily with British. Of course there is huge Indian community, not only they are expats there is also great number of local Indians who own businesses here.   There are also other expat groups such as  Americans, French, Dutch,  and little Turkish community:)

So as soon as you move in, start making friends, schools are great options, your kids friend's parents are too, look around when you shop, do not rush to go home:) Break your antisocial bubble:) you have to make friends to make your days go:) It also depends where you live, expats in Nairobi choose to live Runda, Gigiri, Karen, Kileleshwa and Spring Valley. Personally, this one was the hardest area for me, I am still working on my social skills!!

2- Finding a Job: I do not want to look pessimistic about this subject but I guess have to be honest as well. Last week I checked my sent folders, and counted how many job applications I have made.   Do not want to scare you, but the figure is 67 emails have been sent to NGOs, friends, companies. Believe me, I read the requirements very well and perfectly I was qualified for these jobs.   But no response, not even a thank you email!!! There are few reasons for this, first obviously economy is very bad, and local unemployment rate is sky high. Another reason is, Kenyan government is very very strict about hiring expats for jobs, lately there are even last minute show-ups from government to check people's visa status. So do not take any risk, find your job before move in here! Or make sure you have your return ticket ready by hand!

3- Keeping Your Old Friendships: I believe one of the old saying is right, once you are out of sight you are also out from your friend's life. Not sure if you get what I am trying to say here but most friendships are hard to keep once you move out of country. Somehow, people tend to keep in touch where they can see you physically or meet with you. It is really sad though, but it is what it is. Since we move around a lot, , I have lost lots of friendships...I questioned it for a long time, I even tried to keep in touch helplessly, but effort needs to be done by both sides. Good news is, there are few I still talk, exchange whatsup messages or emails on a weekly basis. So you take it as a price of being an expat family. You make new friends (not easily though), you lose friends (very easily!).

4- Being Lonely: I guess I also should add, being depressive sometimes:) But do not be scared, you get used to being lonely, that's not a bad thing, and it is when you start to get to know yourself! It is a great self figuration point. And in today's hectic life, we all forget to spend time for ourselves. This is what my experience is. I always had a busy life, worked, had kids, schools, social life, friends, movies, going out, and so on. But after we moved here, I felt like, time has stopped, and started to move in a slow motion. It was a perfect timing for me, because I was able to set my priorities, figured out what I like and dislike.  So, take your time and enjoy the ride:)

5- Getting Know Around, the Local Culture: As I mentioned Africa is an isolated place, there are not many sources out there, blogs are great options also expat websites. Husbands are very busy and they travel a lot (at least my husband does!) At the end it is you who has to figure out everything. Honestly, I used trial and error! Remember now, how many times I got lost when I was driving around just to hack of figuring out different places!  I was never fan of having drivers. And having my own car gave me an independence I needed. First 6 months, I was on the road driving for no reason, stopping by every point interested me! Now I have my own veggie place, Indian grocery store where my Kenyan friend,  John picks the freshest fruits and veggies for me:), friendly pharmacy, a friendly run fitness studio where I take zumba classes.
Learning another culture is a pleasure and lifetime experience where it stays with you your whole life, not an easy task though,  needs lots of patience and understanding. For me, every new culture is wealth and fullness to life itself.

Making my blog bilingual!

My brother has been telling me why my blog is only in English, he says it should also be in Turkish, which I guess makes sense. So, since this morning I am working on it! trying to make my blog bilingual, so there are changes constantly, using trial and error! The only problem is I am no good with these technical stuff, so the last time I reviewed my site it was all over the place, not even sure how I can go back!  So please bare with me, you can still access to my blogs though:)

Visit to National Museum and Snake Park with Kids

My kids are in term break and I wanted to do something with them. Something educational and fun. Unfortunately, except playing outside in the compound, there are not much activities for kids. Surely, playing outside is great and they are loving it. But still I want to take my kids to movies, live plays, museums, and child friendly exhibitions but there are none!

There are movie theatres in and around Nairobi, but after what happened in West Gate and non stop threats I am not taking them any closed areas/places, not even I go these places. Maybe I am way too afraid, but still when it is about safety, it is not a subject where you want to take any risk, at least these are my taught...

So, yesterday I took my kids the National Museum, probably this was my fifth time already. Imagine, with every visitor you get to go to the same places which there are not many and like a tour guide you have to give information! Anyhow, since they were my children I did not mind:)

National Museum and Snake Park are in the same place, what a weird combinations, right? I still do not understand the logic behind it:)

One of the areas works very well in Nairobi is getting an entrance ticket in museums, national parks, or game drives! Fees are published and they are displayed on the walls. And ticket agents are anxiously wait for you! Since we are residents, I paid 900ksh (combo ticket for the museum and snake park) for myself and for my 7yrs old, they do not charge for small kids, my son is 3yrs old. National Museum is very small, is never crowded, and only two story and some part of is empty. The first ground displays wild animals, artifacts and human and animal skeletons. And second level is Kenyan history.  I noticed they recently opened  a new part for birds since Kenya is home for thousands of bird species coming with all kinds of colours and sizes.  Both levels are ok from educational point and do not take lots of time to view.

There are also cafe and shops where you can purchase Kenyan souvenir.

Our next step was the snake park which my kids found very interesting and entertaining, much better. Than museum experience!. There are lots of snakes on glass window display. However the windows were so filthy and dirty we had a hard time to see the snakes, sometimes used our imagination!!! At some point I felt bad for the snakes because of the poor conditions....There are also few crocodiles and reptiles, for some reason the fences did not make me feel safe! And in the middle there is a huge space for turtles.

So overall it was an ok experience for kids, unfortunately there was nothing excited or entertaining for them, descriptions are very short and does not make even an adult interested, from kids view my seven years old said it was ok, museum was almost point to boring:(

Unfortunately, getting there was a nightmare. So if you plan to visit the museum try to be there after lunch time and return before 4pm otherwise, these never ending constructions will get your nerves!

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Another Malaria post after 2 yrs

I have noticed malaria is one of the subject bloggers are highly interested.

Even before we moved here, I might have read about it hundred times myself. I was so worried about our two small kids who were aged 1 and 5yrs old by that time. I was even putting on mosquito repellent at the begining. Now looking back, I exaggurated the situation so much!!!!

Anyway, now I can write about it confidently since it has been 2 yrs for us here in Nairobi. If you are living in Nairobi, there are no malaria in here. In order to get malaria you have to travel outside. There are two reasons why there is no malaria in Nairobi. First one is the altitude ( 1,674) and second one is the climate. I hear there are some cases in slums such as Kibele but not because of malaria carrying mosquitoes, because of people who travels outside of the city or these animals travels via trains with humans where they can easly transmitted.

All of the hospitals even the public ones are highly experienced about malaria. When you go to the hospital with nausea, headache and fever one of the first question they ask is if you traveled outside of the city. An no matter what your answer might be, to be on the safe side, they run blood test for malaria. And malaria drugs are available.

Some people who travels game drive areas such as Lake Nakuru, Masai Mara, Amboseli, do take anti-malarial drugs. But some doctors are not advising this, because taking these drugs make your immune weaker if you do get malaria in the future, and some of these drugs have strong side effects.

  Especially, tourists are advised to take these drugs since they are only visiting the country for a short period of time, they make stops in so many different areas of the county, and obviously does not want to take any risk. But people who live in this area get a sense of what is dangerous and what is not. And there are serious to mild side effects taking these anti malarial drugs. So there are pros and cons. If you travel outside of the city you should definitely get doctor's advise.

We have traveled outside of Nairobi few times already with our children, such as Lake Naivasha, Lake Elementaita, Lake Nakuru, Ngong Hills, and Mt. Kenya and did not take any drugs. Depending on the season I applied mosquito repellents, especially night time, since mosquitos are active during that time. And mosquito bed nets are definitely a must no matter where you live and go to, because these animals do not let you sleep!!!!

Weekend Trip to Lake Elementaita and Nakuru

We have been planning to visit the lakes close to Nairobi. Finally this weekend we put it into the action:) They are Lakes, Naivasha, Nakuru and Elementaita. They are all 30 minutes drive from each other. Lake area starts with, Lake Naivasha which is closest one to Nairobi. Roads are not bad, worst part is getting out of Nairobi, but once you are out roads get nicer. The only problem is there are lots of buses and matatus, thus driving can get dangerous, you just have to watch out. There were lots of police check points on the way. Luckily, we were not stopped by. They mostly stop overcrowded buses and matatus. Drive to Lake Elementaita takes approximately 2hrs drive which is not bad if you have small kids like we do. Our hotel was an easy access from the main road. I found out about it on tripadvisor which I use alot and have an account too.  We stayed at Sun Bird Lodge, loved the place. They have these beautiful birds with all kinds of colours, I guess it is where getting the name from. Lodge also has impalas, they greet you when you walk into your room. They had 14 cottages with their own private deck, where you have a beautiful lake view. At night they put warm water bags in the beds, and put the mosquito nets down, even though there are not any because of the high altitude, 1869m. I can say so much about the hotel, and would not be enough. From food to staff it was excellent. At night they lit the fireplaces where you can enjoy glass of wine with a wonderful service. The room was very Eco friendly, accommodated all four of us very comfortably. When I was searching for hotels, few of them were not accepting any children under 6yrs! I was very luck to find out about Sun Bird Lodge. It was full board and very reasonably priced.

The same day we arrived, we had a game drive to Lake Nakuru, which is a 30minutes drive. There I learned Lake Nakuru is a 'prime national park', which I found the term weird. Anyways, so you get to pay more. The park ranger told me it is called 'prime', the reasoning is you get so see more and and it is around the lake. We did a half day game drive and unfortunately did not get to see lions neither the cheetah. But the scenic view is incredible, we were able to see hundreds of Buffalo's, zebras and impalas feeding together. The plantation was amazing.  We were also able to see a hippo from a very far, unfortunately it was under the water, only saw the ears though:( But still I can say I finally saw a hippo:) Lake Nakuru is very famous with its pelican populations, got to see many pelicans in the water coming with pink and white colours.

We have been told you can also have a boat ride in Lake Naivasha to have a bird watching and can see pelicans. But we were not interested much with two small kids besides we already made a quick visit last year. Also the hotel we stayed in, had so many beautiful birds where you get to see them on flowers and in their nests.

I found Nakuru town cleaner and more nicer especially the roads, pavements and buildings. People on the roads were relaxed, had a huge smile on their faces, children were running around safely.  I think it is today's biggest problem in every developing country, when the city gets overly crowded it losses its character and becomes a megapol village...

Overall, it was a great weekend visit, where you get out of bustling Nairobi. So definitely recommended!